My name is Barbara Weibel and I’m the owner/publisher of Hole in the Donut Cultural Travel. I’ve always envied people who love their jobs. Unlike those lucky souls, my various careers over the years (marketing, advertising, selling real estate, working in a retail store, owning a public relations firm, and selling snow cones in the largest water park in Puerto Rico, among others) were just means to an end – a way to earn money and have a comfortable lifestyle. I never loved what I did and I can’t really say I was ever really happy, but I plodded on because I was raised to be dependable, to always give 110%, and to work hard in order to be able to enjoy a comfortable retirement. All of which meant going to work every day, regardless of how much I despised my job.
I knew I wasn’t being true to myself. My inner voice constantly nagged, “Who am I, why am I here, and what is my purpose in life?” I had often heard that we should do what what we love, what makes us joyful. So I asked myself, “What makes me joyful?” But I had no answer. I knew there had to be something better out there; I just didn’t know what it was. Then I got sick. Really sick.
My health had been failing for some time but the doctors couldn’t determine what was wrong. More than once it was implied that my illness was all in my head. Finally, after five years of suffering, I was diagnosed with what had by then become chronic Lyme disease. During the initial treatment I was practically bedridden. Since I could barely drag myself from the bed to the couch (much less go to work) I had a lot of time to examine my life. I decided that things had to change. I was like a donut – a wonderful outer shell with an empty, hollow inside. I could no longer ignore the need to feel that I was living a purposeful life. I needed to fill the hole in my donut. Again I asked myself, “What brings me joy?” This time, I had some answers. Photography. Writing. And travel. I promised myself that when I recovered I would find a way of living that focused on those things that bring me joy.
As soon as I was healthy enough, I left my job, strapped on a backpack, and traveled solo around the world for six months, determined to visit the places I’d always wanted to see. I traveled without major plans, took thousands of photos along the way, and blogged about every place I visited. Upon returning to the States in September of 2007, I rented an apartment in Florida and continued to travel more than half of the time, while simultaneously pursuing freelance writing opportunities. By the end of 2009 I was traveling so much that it made no sense to maintain a home base, so I sold or gave away my remaining furniture and hit the road full time.
For the next eight years I traveled perpetually, staying long-term in many countries in order to immerse in the local culture. But with age came some new challenges. In my early sixties, I began to experience hip and knee problems that were likely effects from my long bout with Lyme disease. More and more, I found it difficult to carry a suitcase up and down the stairs of railway and Metro stations around the world. I began to worry that my traveling days were over.
Fortunately, I was able to correct my joint problems through stem cell therapy. But the mobility issues I had suffered convinced me that it was time to have a home base again. Thus, in December of 2017, I rented an apartment and became an expat in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I’m still traveling a significant amount of the time each year but now I can return to my home base whenever I need a rest, and I no longer need to carry everything with me all the time. It has made a world of difference, and I once again believe I will continue to travel well into my 70’s or even my 80’s.
Throughout my years of travel, I have continued to publish stories on Hole In The Donut Cultural Travel that feature the destinations I visit, the interesting people I meet, the crazy (and often humorous) things that happen to me along the way, and the never-ending spiritual lessons that come from travel. With its self-deprecating humor and focus on the inner journey as well as the outer, Hole In The Donut has attracted a loyal following of readers who travel with me vicariously. So grab a chair and settle in for some unique and interesting travel stories.
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Hola Barbra, I just happened to come across your blog on Putreo lapaz. I am form Canada and am currently working at coco beach which is very close to the small fishing village in El Matel n the Manabi Provence of Ecuador. I as well have been struggling with my purpose and happiness in life. I have never traveled alone but am considering to do so very shortly here in Ecuador and possibly Peru. Would love if you could give me some advice or tips on traveling. I am a forty something female.
Hope to here from you
Hi Marty: Well, first let me say that Ecuador has been the hardest travel I have ever done. Though I have enjoyed everything except the Quilatoa circuit, I have struggled with seasickness, altitude sickness, freezing cold rooms at night with no heaters, and an inability to understand the local dialects, even though my Spanish is pretty good. So unless you have none of the above problems, I would suggest you start out traveling solo in other parts of the world. There are many ways to do so without spending lots of money. True hostels (not guest houses or many of the properties that call themselves hostels here in Latin America) are a great way to go. There are also other options like Couchsurfing or Help Exchange, where you can stay for little to nothing. Best thing to do to start is to read the articles listed under “travel tips” on my green menu bar on the blog. Wishing you the best.
I like ..what you say..about chances in life…everybody….need chances…sorry I latin woman…I speak not to much English,,,but I try to learn…of corse I live in Florida, but my life is so difficult,,,I past for many problems,,all the time …I feel depress…nothing chance in my life..only pain…..I not have bigger job…but I do something…for live…I loss everything…for love…and right now…I try to begin new life…I like meet people interesting…some people teach me…about…how I can chance my life….in believe myself…and a good person…I dreatravel around the world……I like your report……
Thank you Sofia: Just keep following your dreams and be true to yourself. You can do anything if you believe you can.
Accidentally ended up on your page while googling. And am mesmerized by the fact that you had all of the same interests and dreams as I but ended up doing something about it. Somewhere along the way in life I lost touch with that dream. Though to be fair, I enjoyed 4 years as a Pan Am stewardess before settling down as a single parent. I thought that was a pretty tough existence until I married a great man and took on a whole other life of multiple responsibilities. While I now have too many clothes to fit into all my drawers and all my closets, it seems incredulous that I went from eating Grape Nuts over the kitchen sink out of a styrofoam bowl for dinner as a single mom, to now being 20 lbs overweight and spending all my days arguing with the cable company, insurance companies, opening bills, paying traffic citations, and running my kid back and forth to school each day. On my computer somewhere and in a drawer sits 120 pages of handwritten inspiration for a book I began 18 years ago based on my travels and life journeys as a twenty something. After decades of poorly paying and mind numbing office work , I now feel like my own executive secretary, with a big house empty of people, a garden I have no time to enjoy, and such volumes of paperwork just begging for attention on my desk that it is sure to become a fire hazard. After working 7 days a week at the 2 jobs and 2 businesses we both run, my husband and I each collapse into bed at night and struggle to fall asleep without worrying what the next day will bring us: More lawsuits, bills, fines, home repairs, deaths of friends and aging family.
Barbara, I once had a goal of visiting all 116 countries in one lifetime. I figured it would be about 10 days in each place before I became too old and feeble to hop a freight train. I know what stops many of us is the enormous responsibilities we leave behind, and the lack of unlimited budgets. What if a revolution was born..that instead of exchange students landing on doorsteps of families with open arms, middle aged 50 -something women were welcomed into homes around the world in the same vein. Maybe to spinsters, moms who need company or help. Older widowers. Just a chance to experience room and board in exchange for a little hand here and there and a cultural experience on both sides. We recently hosted a 48 year old man from Finland who was attending an English language course for 2 weeks. It was very worthwhile. WHy not start something in this vein? It would make it affordable for everyone.
Hello Hanbask: You sound exactly like me, 5 years ago. For the record, there are lots of organizations that already provide the service you describe. Couchsurfing allows people to stay in homes for free. Help Exchange provides room and board for help on organic farms. Or, you can stay in convents around the world for very affordable rates – better yet, do what I do and stay in hostel dorms. I just spent several lovely days with two young people who I met in a hostel in the mountains of Ecuador, a 30-something French man and a 20-something Aussie woman who were absolutely delighted to have me join them on hikes and for meals. Hostels are a wonderful way to make connections, and I usually can find decent ones for $10 to $12 per night, which includes breakfast. I had to have a serious illness before I finally decided to pursue my passions and I wish I had done it years ago. The house and jewelry and fancy car never made me happy but NOT having all those burdens has! If to travel is what you want, I say go for it.
I love reading about people’s reasons for jetting off around the world. It always appears to be a revelation once people realise there is more to life than the day to day grind of a full time job. The world is there for people to enjoy it, while we have the time and ability to enjoy it. Travelling is what makes me happy, and writing about it, as you have said. I have just found your blog, but i’m excited to read more now as i share the same thoughts and opinions as you, and many others who have left comments on your blog. Thank you
Hi Daniel and welcome to my blog and my passion, which has turned from a jaunt to a full time job, but this time one I love. Love hearing from other intrepid travelers.
Barbara, thanks for the inspiration and friendship you shared with us recently in the Galapagos. Also, thanks for bringing your wonderful sister Nancy along. The writing and photography posted on your blog I am sure will rekindle the childlike wonderlust lurking latent inside many of us. I will be looking forward to following your journeys in the days ahead.
Julia, it was such a pleasure to meet you as well. I’m looking forward to staying in touch and sharing whenever we can. Just let me know what I can do for you! Sending you both a huge hug.
I like how you finf you answer about what make happy! and I love the way you enjoy you life some much! because at the end when the MATERIAL life ends is nothing you can take with you .
Being sick can definitely change your perspective. Glad your illness inspired you to get out and travel and inspire others to do the same!
Hi Barbara,
Just wanted to say what a pleasure it was to meet you at The Rev Coffee Shop and to find out about this awesome website.
I look forward to reading and following your journey as you continue to travel and share your insights, photography and giving others a glimpse of the world that they might not see!
Again, a pleasure to meet you!
Paul
aka The Mayor 🙂
A distinct pleasure to meet you as well, Paul.
Wish I had found you earlier – you could have stayed with me!! I’m a passionate photographer and blogger, wannabe travel writer but I’m stuck doing short trips around New Zealand at this stage – always things to write about though. I lived in Auckland for 40 years and 18 months ago moved to the south island and I now live next door to a vineyard, with an outlook to mountains. Go on lots of trips (day trips) to surrounding areas, and next month I get to travel to Europe for the first time to visit my daughter in Amsterdam. If you ever get back to New Zealand – please contact me through my blog – http://www.robyncarter.blogspot.com There’s always a spare bed!
Cheers
Robyn
Hi Robyn: That is so sweet of you to offer! I’ll definitely let you know if I ever head your way again. I’d love to come back. New Zealand is such a stunning country and there’s so much I didn’t get to see in my brief 2 week stay there. Thanks so much. Barbara
The ability to love and find joy in others starts with liking our self.
Just StumbledUpon your site–great! There sure must be a lot of us 50-somethings eager to start chapter 2 (or 3, or 4…). I am what I like to call a “recovering attorney,” and have been working towards being more donut and less hole these days.
In fact, I just this month started a new blog: 50plusandontherun.blogspot.com. I’d love for you to take a look.Also, although it’s not necessarily exotic–I’d be happy to show you what’s cool in San Antonio, if you ever make your way here.
Hi 50+and on the run: Got a laugh out of your comment – less hole and more donut. What a hoot! And I checked out your site. It’s got a nice clean look and I enjoyed the writing. San Antonio has long been on my wish list and I’m sure I’ll make it there one day, along with Austin. When that time rolls around I’ll be sure to get in touch. Happy travels!
Hey Barbara,
I just stumbled on your site and found it wonderfully inspirational. As the founder and president of Elder Expeditions, an international multi-sport adventure travel company for folks 50 plus, I can relate to many of your comments and those of your readers. I would like to invite you and your readers to visit the Elder Expeditions website at:
http://www.elderexpeditions.com.
Best regards,
Dea
Hi Barbara,
I recently stumbled across your inspirational and informative blog and love your writing and documentary-style photography! Your Asia posts, especially on Thailand, make me nostalgic for that part of the world.
I’ve been living in Guatemala for the past 4 years but before that lived in Thailand for 5 1/2 years and that country and its people will always be very dear to me. Although I love Guatemala my heart is still in Asia and think I’ll move back there next year. I’m 44 and have been traveling and living overseas for most of the time since I was 26 and can’t ever see myself moving back to live in the UK.
I think it’s so important to listen to your inner voice yet so many people ignore it through fear while living a life they want to escape. Leaving their old life behind is the most difficult, scary part and I’m sure your blog has inspired many to make the leap.
My travel photo blog is relatively new and so far only has posts on Guatemala and Mongolia although I still have so much more to add. I look forward to following more of your travels through your posts and photos and am now off to read your articles on your portfolio!
Keep inspiring!
Lucy
Hi Lucy: I can totally relate about having such a strong pull toward Asia – I have the same the exact same feeling. Fortunately, I have followed my dreams and I try as much as possible to let others know that travel is nothing to fear and encourage those who might like to set out to see the world to do so. Thanks for taking the time to write and all the best.
I think you’re very courageous to just take off and go for your goals. Glad you made it and hope you excel in any other goals you have. Great pictures and such interesting content. I’m still working towards mine!
Hi Barbara,
I just love reading about the marvellous places you visit. Inspires me to keep reaching for my dream; to travel the world. In view of that it is my pleasure to say:
Congratulations! You have been awarded The Versatile Blogger Award. Stop by at http://notjustagranny.wordpress.com/2011/06/04/versatile-blogger-award/ for more details.
Regards
Cindy
@notjustagranny
Phantastic !
I am sick of envy of your beautiful pictures taken in Australia ! We were both in same spots, I tried to do my best (I think I love photos same way as you) , but I cannot compare … it is a great pleasure to make the journey with you thanks to your blog .. all the best and please try some other trips !!!!
Jaroslaw
Hi Barbara,
My story is much the same as yours…and Elizabeth Gilbert’s. In fact, if I had a dollar for every time someone compared my journey to Gilbert’s, I’d be rich. But I’m pretty comfortable now, hitting 60 this year & living the dream in Amsterdam, a city/lifestyle that captured my heart in 2007. I bought an apartment here last summer and love being based in a place that makes my soul sing when I’m not romping around the world on travel assignments. In the last 3 years, I’ve visited and written about destinations in the U.S., Spain, Israel, Greece, Turkey, Egypt, Hungary, Italy, Austria, Denmark, Thailand and South Africa.
Alas, t wasn’t always so. While I’ve been a professional writer/photographer all my life, I’ve worked in many unsatisfying jobs in my native Southern California and endured 23 years in a marriage that lasted 22 years too long. After 7 years of near-suicidal depression following the dissolution of that sorry union, I took a trip that changed my life, cycling for a week on the Adriatic with my bike club, visiting my son in Florence and stopping in A’dam before returning to my job with the boss from Hell in a city I’d started to loath. While many would kill to own a home in Newport Beach, CA, for me the town was superficial, narrow-minded and materialistic. I couldn’t be my authentic self there. I’m moving to Amsterdam, I decided. Fast forward 3 years, through a few expensive adventures with con-men (that will form the basis for a memoir), a medical catastrophe, broken heart and I’ve found my bliss.
I commend you for having the courage to search for and find yours. Given the many parallels in our lives, I thought we might connect online and through social media. I hope you’ll visit my website, http://www.wordgeisha.com, and become a follower on my blog, The Write Brain, http://www.wordgeisha.blogspot.com. Perhaps we can collaborate.
Best regards,
Melissa
Hi Melissa:
Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. I’m always gratified to know
that people actually read what I write. Like you, this hasn’t been an easy
path, but it is a joyful one. I SO love what I do.
I visited both your website and blog and would be happy to connect on
Facebook & twitter, but I don’t see that you’ve provided links to either
your twitter account or your Facebook Page anywhere on your blog. I tried
clicking on the “share this” button for twitter but that went nowhere. If
you can send me both, I can connect. Also, I don’t know what you meant by
“follow” your blog, unless you mean subscribing to your rss feed??
Warmly,
Barbara
I love your comments as much of it parallels my own experiences which led me, in part, to form my company Elder Expeditions, an international adventure travel company for active and physically fit folks age 50+. Please visit our website: www.elderexpeditions.com.
Dea
Very inspiring. I find myself asking similar questions.
gorgeous photos
complimentary?
jealous but not quite ready for the plunge
Barbara, this is an inspiring post of yours! It made me realize how important it is to always do whatever it is that makes me happy, no matter how successful you were in your career, you decided to live your life to the fullest by doing what you love! Thanks for sharing!
Cape Town
Thanks so much Sophie. I have lots less material things these days but I am
sure mch happier than ever before. Just goes to show that money can’t buy
everything.
Hello Barbara Ann,
I just landed upon your website blog from a Facebook referral and I immediately felt the sweet and rich stuffing garnishing the Hole in the Donut. Finding one’s own way in life and pursuing it with passion takes a lot of courage without any guarantee of success, but the rewards are priceless. Sharing your cultural travels and spiritual quest is an inspiration for all, especially for those who have not yet reached their destination.
I have been one of those seekers and travelers for most of my life until about 2 years ago when I relocated in Northeastern Thailand. I was literally at the end of my road with nothing more to expect from life after having tried everything and so many things over so many years. But there was one thing I did not do before: giving something of myself for free to the people.
The right opportunity for it was given to me when I volunteered to teach English at the small primary school of what is now “my village”, known as Non Nam Thaeng. This is when my whole life really changed. Finally everyday I could see the joyful and happy smiles of our 113 students. Finally my life became so simple and truly rewarding.
To make this story short Barbara Ann, and because a picture is worth a thousand words, I warmly invite you to discover our 113 smiles on the website I built for my school, including a blog. We would be delighted as well to have you as a friend on Facebook (Nonnamthaeng PrimarySchool).
In the meantime I will keep reading your posts with great interest and intensity.
Warm Regards.
Chris Aupretre
http://nonnamthaengschool.yolasite.com/
P.S. I have included your URL as one of our friendly links on our website.
Hi Chris:
Thanks so much for your lovely comment. I am always thrilled to read about
other searchers who, like myself, finally find their place in life. It’s
really all about loving kindness and helping others, isn’t it. Money never
made me happy, but now I have friends all across the globe and though I just
barely scrape by financially, I’m so very happy.
I just took a look at your website and “liked” it. From the photos of your
children, it is easy to see why you feel so fulfilled. Lovely, lovely
smiles! Keep up the good work and, who knows, maybe someday I will be able
to visit your village and school personally.
Barbara
PS: Thanks so much for the link; very much appreciated!
” And men loved darkness rather than light lest their deeds become exposed.”
I pity you. You have removed the post about Jesus Christ and unfortunately God will do the same to you if you do not turn to him.
How do you find time to travel…..write…..photograph…..post ?? I always get lost in the travel & culture to do the computer part. Would love to know how you make it all happen, and so well, I might say. One of the best travel blogs I’ve seen.
Hi Bjgrist: Well, you have just nailed the biggest frustration I face with
this job of mine. The short answer is very little sleep most of the time.
And there are times I have to hole myself up in a hotel room for three days
and just write and edit, etc. I’s always a challenge, but I manage to make
it happen. People think this is a glamorous life but few can imagine the
long hours and hard work involved. Fortunately, I absolutely love what I do.
Thanks so much for your comment and your very kind praise.
How inspiring! And timely! I could not be happier to have discovered your web site. I love knowing there are so many like-minded individuals who are willing to challenge the status quo. Bravo! to you for your success in changing the work you do.