About Me
My name is Barbara Weibel. I’m fifty-something and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I’ve always envied people who love their jobs. Unlike those lucky souls, my various careers over the years (marketing, advertising, selling real estate, working in a retail store, owning a public relations firm, and selling snow cones in the largest water park in Puerto Rico, among others) were just a means to an end - a way to earn money and have a comfortable lifestyle. But I plodded on, going to work every day and mostly disliking my jobs. I did it because that’s the way I was raised. I was taught to go to work every day and always give 110%. I was taught to keep my nose to the grindstone and save my money so I could retire in comfort and not rely on the government to take care of me in my old age. I was taught to be responsible and pay my bills on time. But I never loved what I did and I can’t really say I was ever really happy.
Over the years, the stress took its toll and my “casual” drinking and drug use got the better of me as I dove headlong into the abyss of alcoholism and drug addiction. I moved from place to place, always believing that a new start would make everything OK. Of course, wherever I went, there I was. Things got worse. Much worse. Finally, at age 43, I couldn’t ignore the problem any longer and I sought help through Alcoholics Anonymous. It was a rough couple of years in the beginning, but I am happy to say that I have been clean and sober since the first time I walked into an AA meeting.
Unfortunately, by the time I got clean and sober I was divorced twice and had lost almost everything. I was panicked about how I would ever be able to earn enough for retirement at this late stage. By this time I had moved to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. I was lucky enough to find a job in real estate and once again put my nose to the grindstone. I went from being the assistant to the Broker/Owner of a RE/MAX franchise, to being the General Manager of the firm’s four franchises, all the while selling real estate during one of the biggest real estate booms this country has ever seen. Although I was successful, still it was not something I loved. I knew I wasn’t being true to myself, but day after day I went to work because it was the “right thing to do.” Yet my inner voice constantly nagged, “Who am I, why am I here, and what is my purpose in life?” It certainly wasn’t selling real estate. I had often heard that we should do what makes us joyful. So I asked myself, “What makes me joyful?” And I couldn’t answer the question. I knew there had to be something better out there; I just had no idea what it was. Then I got sick. Really sick.
My health had been failing for some time and doctors couldn’t determine what was wrong due to my many weird symptoms. More than once it was implied that it was all in my head. It’s a long story, but through a bizarre series of “coincidences” (no such thing) the medical community finally determined that I had Lyme disease. By the time the Lyme disease was identified, it was in the chronic stage. During the initial treatment I was practically bedridden for six weeks. Since I could barely drag myself from the bed to the couch (much less go to work) I had a lot of time to think and examine my life. I decided that things had to change. I was like a donut - a wonderful outer shell with an empty, hollow inside. I could no longer ignore the need to feel that I was living a purposeful life. I needed to fill the hole in my donut. Again I asked myself, “What brings me joy?” This time, I had some answers. Photography. Writing. And travel. I promised myself that I would find a way to live that focused on the things that bring me joy.
This blog is part of that pursuit. When I began to design it, I tried out all types of images, including a photo of a donut with thick, delicious chocolate frosting dripping down its sides. But somehow, nothing fit. Then one day I came across the web site for the Hubble Space Telescope with its astounding gallery of images. One of these was of a “light echo” illuminating the dust around Supergiant Star V838 Monocerotis - a near perfect astrological representation of a “hole in a donut.” I had found the perfect image to represent my personal quest, which, when coupled with the inspiring words of the poem by Judith Pintare, became the header for my blog.
I told my wonderful friends and co-workers at RE/MAX that I had decided to retire from real estate and backpack around the world for six months. Between May 11 and September 5, 2007, I did just that. I traveled without major plans and went wherever the wind blew me. When the opportunity arose to volunteer and help people, I did. I took hundreds of photos along the way and uploaded them to my sister site, easywebsite.net, while writing about my experiences along the way on this blog.
Upon returning to the States in September of 2007, I relocated to Sarasota, Florida and focused my efforts on becoming a freelance writer. Since so many of my readers have commented that they hope I will continue to write the blog, I have decided to keep it active. At the same time, I am writing a book about my trip around the world and the events that led me to walk away from a successful career to pursue what I love. Nowadays, instead of feeling empty and purposeless, I spend every day filling my donut with delicious jelly filling. I hope you will enjoy the journey with me.