I thought I would forever regret not having asked his name, until I rolled into the same McDonalds a week later. There he was, just like before, food spread across the table and belongings spilling from an overflowing backpack. He wore the same oversized Carpenter’s jeans, faded brown T-shirt, and velveteen hoodie with the nap worn down to nothing. When he glanced up I was again I was struck by the twinkling eyes, ruddy cheeks, and grizzled beard that put me in mind of Santa Claus.

“Hello again,” I said. His momentary blank expression turned to a wide smile.

“Well hello, darlin’! You’re back again. Didn’t recognize you at first.”

“I don’t think I introduced myself last time. My name is Barbara,”

“Rudy,” he replied, enfolding my soft, manicured hand in his rough calloused paw.

He extricated himself from his pile of belongings and joined me.

We had chatted briefly the previous week about being on the street but now I asked the question that haunts me, where the homeless are concerned. Why?

“Because I travel.” He looked down at the table for a moment, lost in thought.  “Folks don’t realize that homeless are same as anyone else. Most of us have had jobs, apartments, been married and had kids – at one time. But I really don’t want to give my money to some landlord. So I sleep in cuts and under bridges. It’s cold sometimes, but I’m from Colorado so it’s not too bad. I wake up shivering, but as soon as sun comes up I’m OK. I’m tough.”

“Do you worry about being mugged?” I asked, recalling recent incidents where homeless were beaten and Read the rest of this entry »

Today is all about my inner journey. Occasionally I need to be reminded of my own goals: to act authentically from a place of love, to help others whenever possible, to turn my life over to the Universe and follow the path that is set forth before me, and to be grateful for that which I have been given. The video below reminded me of all this. It is so beautiful that I must share it:

It was my anniversary yesterday. On January 24, 1996 I walked into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous, and that was the last time I ever had a drink or used drugs.

The day was a little surreal for me. In some ways it felt like I just got clean and sober yesterday; in other ways it felt like it happened a hundred years ago. I was living in Puerto Rico at the time, managing a bar (great place for a drunk to work!). I was partying every night and sleeping less and less. One night, after hours of drinking and lots of coke, my heart began beating so hard I thought it was going to come right out of my chest. I broke out in a cold sweat and got up to splash some water on my face. When I glanced up into the mirror, I was shocked by my appearance. My face was pasty gray, my skin hung, and my eyes were dull and glazed over. In that instant, I knew I was going to die soon if I didn’t stop.

Flash forward 13 years. My cheeks are pink and my eyes sparkle. I am healthy and happy. My life is wonderful. I know how this happened – lots of hard work and sticking to the principles of AA – but I don’t know why. I often wonder, “Why me?” Read the rest of this entry »

A friend sent me this video yesterday and I thought it was one of the most inspirational messages I’d ever heard. On it, Nick Vujicic speaks about never giving up, no matter what kind off curve balls life throws at you. After watching, my faith was renewed that I can succeed at whatever I attempt, as long as I try hard enough and believe in myself. After seeing this video, I guarantee you’ll look at the phrase “get back up” from an entirely different perspective:

About a year ago, I wrote a story titled “Hopelessness Is Only One Letter Away From Hopelessness.” I have more interaction with homeless people than most, since I live in Sarasota, Florida, midway between the Salvation Army facility and downtown. Every day, dozens of homeless people walk downtown in the morning and return to the Salvation Army at night to eat, shower, and sleep. One day last month I was downtown and happened to be walking alongside a homeless couple who were carrying all their worldly possessions on their backs. This was during one of Sarasota’s rare cold spells (the nighttime temperatures had been dipping below 35 degrees for the previous two nights), and I wondered if they had some place warm to sleep and something hot to eat. I thought about how lucky I was to have a roof over my head and the means to live comfortably.

“I hope you have some place warm to sleep,” I said, turning to the man. He looked up at me, visibly startled that I had spoken to him.

“No, we’ve been sleeping on the street,” he replied. Read the rest of this entry »

The snow has finally stopped here in Illinois and the temperatures have finally climbed above zero; it’s now 12 degrees and expected to climb all the way to 28. The sun is even peeking through the clouds – just a bit, but enough to melt a little of the ice that has been coating all the roads. Tomorrow’s forecast calls for temps to climb above freezing, perhaps even as high as 50 degrees. We fondly refer to this as pneumonia weather.

I’m not complaining though. I am surrounded by warmth – both of the temperature kind (Dad’s house is a cozy 72 degrees) and the familial kind. I am about to leave for my sister’s house, where for the next few hours we’ll be stuffing our faces, unwrapping presents, watching football, playing electronic games on the TV, and talking over one another until the din is so loud that my head begins to reverberate. I love it. I am so grateful that I can be here over the holidays with my Dad and the rest of my family. I hope each and every one of you are also with loving family and friends, enjoying the holiday. Merry Christmas everybody!

I have always enjoyed roughing it, whether I was in a tent in a National Park or some remote location half a world away where my sleeping accommodations consisted of a floating bamboo shelter with no running water or electricity. One of the reasons I enjoy this experience so much is that when I get close to nature my spiritual condition is renewed. I feel close to ‘all that is’ and I am at peace. After exposure to such great beauty, the world could be falling down around my feet and I would walk peacefully through the rubble.

Especially with international destinations, I prefer to travel this way because it allows me to get close to the people and culture of the country I am visiting. Pricey, upscale hotels try their best to provide all the amenities the traveler would normally have at home. The result is often a sanitized, if well-intentioned, experience of the country and its people. On the few occasions when I stayed at all-inclusive resorts or five-star hotels, the hotel staff strongly encouraged me not to venture off the grounds because they “could not ensure my safety” in the event that I did so. This happened to me in Jamaica last year, and I thought it was Read the rest of this entry »

Just a quick note of thanks here. My blog placed seventh in the travel category at DivineCaroline.com, due in large part to all the wonderful readers who voted for me. Please accept my heartfelt thanks. Writing this blog is my passion and it would be meaningless without you.

Ancient Chinese philosophy teaches that forces seemingly in opposition to one another are inextricably bound together. The Chinese refer to this concept as the Yin and Yang of life, which is represented by the black and white circular graphic shown below.

In simplified terms, Yin and Yang teaches that there is value in opposites. Without having experienced darkness, we would be unable to appreciate the sunshine. Without cold, heat would be less meaningful. Were there no evil in the world, there would be no distinction for goodness. And without sadness or depression, there could be no joy or happiness.

I am intimately familiar with this concept. Whenever I experience a period of extreme happiness in my life, it is inevitably followed by a period of depression. In recent years this has happened less and less often and I suspect that’s because my definition of happiness has changed. I used to believe that I needed to be deliriously, uproariously joyful, that anything less did not qualify as happiness. I was constantly in search of a paradise where life would be perfect.

My views are different these days, or perhaps it is my understanding that has shifted. I now believe that true happiness has more to do with Read the rest of this entry »